To my baby girl....

To my little girl.

As I sit here at 2:03 AM. it just hit me. You are going to be 2 years old in just 4 short day! This thought has so many emotions to go along with it. Happiness, sadness, amazement, excitement, wonder. All are running through me right at this moment. I will be honest with you sadness is winning at this moment as tears are rolling down my face.

You have grown so much and I am so lucky to be called your mom. You amaze me every day with what you are learning. You drive me insane with your temper tantrums and your coloring on things you know are not to be colored on. You make me laugh at your silliness. You make me cherish the times you want to cuddle and fall asleep on me for a nap. I am so proud of you when people say how smart you are. But they also ALWAYS tell me how pretty and cute and adorable you are.

How in the world has 2 years gone by already?! I remember it like yesterday... I was at the Dr's and I was getting my ultrasound on you to check on how you were growing. And all I remember is the nurse telling me to be prepared to be told by the Dr. that I was being sent upstairs. That 10 minutes was the longest 10 minutes (well one of the longest) in my life. I had to call your dad and tell him to be ready to leave work if I called since he was getting ready for work as I was at the Dr's. Then the Dr. came in and told me they were going to induce me on Tuesday. I released a sigh I didn't realize I was holding in. We got a total of 4 days to finish preparing for you. I would be 37 weeks on Tuesday and they were hoping you would be a bit bigger than the 4 lbs 11 oz you were measuring.

My next memory is us getting in the hospital room and checking in... I was prepared to have you in a days time or two. But you know I should have known better. You have been your own person and you have had your own personality since you were inside me. Example: We knew that you were a girl for less than a month before I had you! Most parents get to find out months before their child comes into this world! NOT WEEKS!  Again you had your own plan and that was to stay in me... you were not ready to come out. Sadly for you that was no longer an option since you stopped growing. So your Bampa (Grampa) guessed your birthday right. I believe he was the only one to guess Valentine's Day.

When that day rolled around I was DONE! I wanted you out and I was tired of wires and vitals and not getting any sleep! So it was decided that we would have you that day. As I was getting ready to walk down to the OR I got super nervous. I had a mini panic attack/ meltdown right before ( Remember at this point Mom has only fractured her elbow and sprained her ankles. So nothing like major abdominal surgery!! I was scared) After they got everything going the next 10 minutes were the (next) longest minutes I waited. I waited to hear you cry for the first time. Again I was holding my breath and when I heard you with your high pitched, loud, strong cry it was like all stress and worry blew out of my body along with that breath I was holding. The next worry was if you were going to need NICU time. We got really lucky because you didn't.

Looking back on that day, it was easily my favorite day (aside from getting married to your dad!) of all time! Looking back at the past 2 years it makes me see how time really does fly. I want it to slow down! We are already looking at preschools for you. Next in just 3 short years you will be off to Kindergarten. In 8 years you will be in double digits! In 11 years you will be a teenager!!!! GASP! And in 14 years you will be able to drive and 16 years you will be graduating from High School. Can we please just slow things down. I want to enjoy you the age you are.

You know that Taylor Swift song "Never Grow Up" ? It use to have a completely different meaning to me. But now that you are here I can not listen to that song without bursting in to instant tears.

Your little hands wrapped around my finger & it's
So quiet in the world tonight
Your little eyelids flutter cos you're dreaming so I
Tuck you in, turn on your favourite nightlight

To you everything's funny
You got nothing to regret
I'd give all I have honey
If you could stay like that

Oh darling don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh darling don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up
It can stay this simple

I won't let nobody hurt you
Won't let no one break your heart
No one will desert you
Just try to never grow up
Never grow up

You are going to want to Grow up as fast as possible. Trust me I did too. You know what? I want to go back and be a kid again but then again I don't because I would loose you. You are easily the most important person (along with your dad) in my whole entire world! So please as you are reading this when you are older just remember don't grow up too fast.

Your dad and I love you so much.

Snow Day!

So this past Sunday (Super Bowl Sunday) Michigan got slammed with a snow storm. Where I live got the most snow! We got 18.5-19 inches of snow in 24 hours! That's CRAZY!!! So while we were stuck inside all of Monday on Tuesday the snow plow man came and did our parking lot! The pile he was making in front of our place was huge! It was taller than I am! Also on Tuesday my truck was getting towed to the shop since it would not start at all. So when the tow guy called I decided to get Sprout all bundled up and take her out to play in the snow for a little bit! Here are some adorable pictures!

Also for a loss update...

I still have not miscarried on my own yet. I had my numbers tested again yesterday and they raised back up to 303. My previous number was 285. That was 9 days ago. So the next thing I want to happen is have an ultrasound to check everything out and make sure this is not an ectopic pregnancy (Where the baby is in the Fallopian tube). If it is I will have to get either the shot to start my miscarriage or have a D&C. 

My Dr. will be calling me today sometime to talk about what is the best option. I still have bad days but I know time will help.